Thursday, 28 July 2016

Stream of Consciousness - my first Pilates class

Before Class

"Ok, ok, so this seems ok. I've found the studio, the other ladies are non-threatening. This will be fine!"
"A mat, I need a mat. In the corner, at the back."
"Holy mother of...these mats are unruly...and they stink. Can see why everyone brings their own..." 
"Right, I know you're nervous. Let's do a bit of visualisation. I am a calm, serene, stretching goddess."
"Oooh, here's the instructor. She looks fab - see how good Pilates is for you! Glowy!" 

Warm up

"Ok, standing, circling arms. I got this. Remember to breathe in and out. I can do this! Breathing is literally the easiest thing in the world."

Image from Pixabay

During Class

"Any class that involves a predominantly horizontal position isn't going to make me sweat is it!"
"Engage my core? Is that suck my gut in?!" 
"And breathe. At the same time?! That's proving a little difficult." 
"Oooh, apparently engaging your core is more technical that suck belly in. Must remember to ask advice later."
"Is that sweat. Dripping on the mat? It is! I'm sweating...this is not just a glow, I repeat not just a glow. Actual sweat and bucket loads of it."
"My chest is squashing me. I'm not sure this primark sports bra is up to the job of containing them."
"What fresh hell is this? I cannot balance on this few body parts. And breathe. And engage core. At the same time?? Forget difficult, I'm finding this impossible!" Something's got to go."
"Why am I shaking so much? Oh god! Breathe!! I actually forgot to breathe!"
"Now, my core isn't engaged. A single lady core. Probably shouldn't make that joke out loud..."
"No, no, no. I actually can't do that exercise. I'm trying to make my bottom leave the mat but unfortunately it is rooted there." 

Image from Pixabay

End of Class

"Ahhhh, relaxation. Tension in body etc etc. Wait, should I be scrunching up my muscles? Pulling funny faces? Probably best not to fall asleep." 
"Is that it now, is it over?"
"Yes we're all up. Ok, put mat back, thank teacher, leave studio..." 
"I do feel very chilled and pleased. I'll try again next week I think. Although clearly breathing does not come naturally to me. Of all things!"
"Must buy a new sports bra to handle the girls."
"With practise, I will be a serene, stretching goddess. Maybe." 

The Next Morning

"Cannot move. Everything aches..."

Click to find my other stream of consciousness posts

Have a beautiful day, inside and out

Tori xx

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